


Bram's Universe

by IamZor



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Boyfriends, Canon - Book, Cute, First Love, Fluff, In Love, Kissing, M/M, minor smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-08 18:31:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17391464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IamZor/pseuds/IamZor
Summary: Because Simon Spier is Bram's entire freaking universe.A series of cute stories that take place after the plot of "Simon vs. the Homosapien's agenda" from Bram's POV.Or...I lay in bed, unable to comprehend how happy I was. I was with Simon Spier. Simon of the soft face, messy hair, and key member of the drama club. I didn’t sleep, I just lay in bed thinking about how I was his boyfriend. HIS boyfriend. His BOYFRIEND! I may be quiet at school, but I’m not in my head. Anyways, I had a feeling I’d slowly open up to Simon more and more. All I had to think about was the fact that he wasn’t just super cute Simon who I’d stare at during math, but that he was also Jacques, who I’d tell everything and hadn’t been known to hide facts from. Well, except my identity for a while.





	1. Bram vs. his happy thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work, so bear with me. I'll try to post new chapters frequently!

Bram vs. his happy thoughts

I lay in bed, unable to comprehend how happy I was. I was with Simon Spier. Simon of the soft face, messy hair, and key member of the drama club. I didn’t sleep, I just lay in bed thinking about how I was his boyfriend. HIS boyfriend. His BOYFRIEND! I may be quiet at school, but I’m not in my head. Anyways, I had a feeling I’d slowly open up to Simon more and more. All I had to think about was the fact that he wasn’t just super cute Simon who I’d stare at during math, but that he was also Jacques, who I’d tell everything and hadn’t been known to hide facts from. Well, except my identity for a while. If I closed my eyes, I could picture us kissing, over and over. I thought back to the other day, when we’d been in his room for the first time. It was the most intense, wonderful I’ve ever experienced, and yet I can’t help but wish we’d done more. Logically, this wouldn’t have been sound. His parents had been on the way, and we both needed some time to “calm down,” but still, in my head, I think I can picture it going just slightly further. Like shirts off further. Maybe.  
The next day at school, Simon practically skipped up to me. He was so brave. “Hey,” he said beaming with the brightest smile I've ever seen. Being around happy, skipping Simon gave me this warm ache.  
“Hi,” I replied softly, shooting him the smallest grin. Even though we’d been dating for a little while, and been talking for longer, sometimes I’d still close up around him. I've always had slight social anxiety and I've always gotten tongue tied around cute guys. Although, the only cute guy I've been able to focus on for the last couple years is Simon. My crush on him freshman year, was kind of the last clue that I was gay. What are the odds I also fell in love with him online. My Jacques. I guess it's just meant to be. Before Simon came along, I always told myself I could get around perfectly in life if I kept my grades straight, focused on soccer, and kept a couple good friends around. Well, Garrett. Now that I’ve fallen for a boy, it’s hard to ever think how life would be without him. I now know how happy he makes me, and how sad I’d be without him. I still get sort of speechless around Simon because honestly, he's adorable. My heart kind of melts around him. His hair is soft and messy and I constantly want desperately to run my fingers gently through it! He also has this soft, expressive face and moon-grey eyes I want to get lost in. And his figure, his body, I love it. He's not athletic, but he's pretty skinny. He has this perfect shape that I can see myself locking into. His skin is subtly pink and pale. When I look at his body, I imagine myself cuddling up next to him. I always catch myself staring his direction, longing to hug him and kiss his face. At least now I can without getting embarrassed, and immediately having to look away. I can't believe how lucky I am. I can't believe he's mine. So, sometimes it's hard to make out words around him! So all I said to him was hi, but what I wanted to tell him was everything else.  
He looked around nervously before placing a small kiss on my cheek. I felt my cheeks darken. I was so happy, I could just die. It was an unspoken agreement between us that our school still wasn’t the progressive, happening place we’d dreamed, and PDA would have to be kept on the down low. He didn’t take my hand, but I knew he wanted to, I could see it in his expressive eyes. I wanted to, badly, as well. We walked side by to class. We both shared the same first period class, which was nice. If we weren’t “doing homework” before school, at least we always knew we’d see each other before class began. Today we walked straight to class since it was time already. He sort of paused at the door and let me step in front of him. It was a small, awkward gesture, but one that made me ache happily. I made a beamline for the couch, practically sitting on top of Garrett in my efforts. He laughed and greeted me with a high five. Simon plopped down next to me. “What’s up Spier,” Garrett asked him as he reached for his textbook.  
“Oh, nothing new,” he replied simply and then lowering his voice to speak just to me, “Except I’m suddenly the happiest person on the planet.” I turned to him biting back my smile, but I was unsuccessful. It was far too much work to not break into a giant grin! I wanted so, so badly to just lean over and kiss him; show him I felt the same way, but I couldn’t. I almost feel like Garrett witnessed the entire exchange and I turned suddenly when he let out the tiniest “awe.” He was kinda smiling too, and it made me grin. Garrett’s always been there for me, even when I came out to him after the whole “Simon being outed” drama. He even tried his hardest to be my wingman, and spent some time pestering me with questions about who I was into. I think once he caught me staring at Simon during lunch. I think I even bit my lip longingly, god I always do that, its a problem. He nudged me, hinting that he’d figured it out. It was a perfectly fine exchange until, Simon walked up to us and said “If you like her, then just ask her out.” He said that to ME! It kind of broke me because in my head he knew I was Blue, but maybe that’s just because I secretly knew Jacques was him and I was holding him to some double standards. Anyways, Garrett might be semi douche every once and a while and his music taste is to be desired, but he’s always been there for me, and I know he’s for real.  
Class began and I let Simon look over on my notes when he got lost. We also had Algebra together later which, while I looked forward to it, I knew it’d amount to another period of me staring and definitely not focusing on math. Whatever, though. Sue me, I’m happy.


	2. Bram vs. their 10-day-anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ten whole days with Simon freaking Spier! I could scream, and I’m a quiet person."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you even say for notes. This is the second chapter, I guess.

Bram vs. their 10-day-anniversary  
(shut-up, its a real thing)

Ten whole days with Simon freaking Spier! I could scream, and I’m a quiet person. I knew we wouldn’t be doing anything to celebrate the anniversary I had just created for myself, but it was still a shocker to my inner self that we’d made it this far. I had a feeling too, that we’d make it to many more, very real, anniversaries. We felt meant for eachother.   
I texted him when I had fully woken up happy ten-day-anniversary :) He replied immediately with a million hearts followed by I knew we’d make it!. I giggled and rubbed my eyes sleepily. I was surprised when my phone started buzzing. A facetime request from “Si❤️” Still in early morning shock, I answered. I realized a second too late I was shirtless, and had bed head. Oh god, my boyfriend was already seeing me in this terrible state. “Well, hello,” Simon answered grinning a little mischievously.   
“Hi, I know I’m a mess, but I just woke up.” I replied weakly, covering my face with my free hand.   
“Are you kidding, that ‘Well, hello’ was as in, I’m still in shock wondering how my boyfriend looks that good like all the time.”   
“I’ve been asking myself the same question.” We both trailed off smiling. He was laying in his bed wearing the Elliott Smith shirt I’d bought him. It made me smile to think about it. “So,” I began quietly, breaking the silence. “I know we aren’t going to do anything to celebrate this anniversary I just made up, but I still wanna do something. Do you wanna catch a movie tonight?”   
“You didn’t just make up a 10-day-anniversary,” he retorted. I was planning on bringing you an anniversary gift you know.”   
“Oh, really.”   
“Yes, and a movie would be great, although you already know my opinion on the matter.”   
“Don’t worry, Si, there will definitely be making out involved, probably in the mall parking lot. I mean isn’t that what happens on date nights.”   
“Yeah, except for on parent date nights, right?”  
“Sure, just tell yourself that, Simon, but I thought you said your parents didn’t peak in high school.”   
“Gross, but true.”   
“We should probably hang up now and get ready for school. Do you wanna meet before class to do homework?”   
“I see what you’re saying, meet me at my locker. I might be late though, I still have to get your anniversary present.”   
“You mean you don’t have it already? Tisk tisk, Simon. I’ll see you around 8:00.”   
“Okay, bye shirtless Bram.” He smiled and I looked down embarrassed, but happier than ever.”   
I walked directly to his locker upon entering the school. I was stopped in the halls by Nick and Abby who both smiled and pulled me aside. “So, you and Simon. How’s it going?” Abby asked wiggling her eyebrows with a twinkle in her eye.   
“I… um” Before I could even speak, Nick butt in.   
“C'mon, Simon’s like constantly deliriously happy nowadays, how bad could things be going?”   
“True, true,” said Abby, “but we haven’t heard Bram’s point of view.”  
“I guess I’m same as Simon,” I said chuckling and smiling at my feet. Abby practically squealed in happiness.   
“You guys are adorable,” she added. And then she looked up at Nick expectantly.   
“Yup,” Nick said smiling wide and slapping me on the back. I lifted my eyes from the ground and my heart immediately melted at the sight of Simon approaching us.   
“Hey, can we have a moment?” He asked Abby. She happily obliged and gestured Nick to step back.   
“Hi, hi,” he said. I smiled.  
“Hey.”   
“I have something for you,” he grinned.   
“I heard.” He held out a package of oreos finished with a red bow on top and a little heart next to the name Abraham scrawled in sharpie on the package. I grinned so wide taking it from him. “Thank you. You’re wonderful,” I said. I wanted to hug him. No, I wanted to in front of everyone, pull his lips to mine in a deep, passionate kiss, but I didn’t, I just reached out and gently brushed his soft cheek. I think it was enough. “I wish I’d gotten you something,” I said out of nowhere, but I didn’t expect you to remember 10 days.”   
“Of course I remembered, and don’t worry about it. There’s always one month, and I know we’ll make it there.”   
“Me too.” I said.   
“Wanna go to the theater, you know to help me with some math.”   
“I’d love to,” I replied giving him a mischievous smile. He giggled a little and then led me to the theater.


	3. Bram vs. not staring at Simon too much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Math was my hardest class. Not because I was bad at the subject, I wasn’t. It was challenging because I sat a few desks away from Simon and had to fight the inner struggle to not stare at him at every waking moment. "

Bram vs. not staring at Simon too much

Math was my hardest class. Not because I was bad at the subject, I wasn’t. It was challenging because I sat a few desks away from Simon and had to fight the inner struggle to not stare at him at every waking moment. We had english together as well, but it was easier when we could sit together on the couch and I could press my knee to his or secretly brush my hand on his thigh when I felt myself missing him. Also, Mr. Wise’s class wasn’t very challenging and so I didn’t particularly need to focus the entire period. With math, though, the teacher wasn’t afraid to call me out for being distracted. One time she told me “Stop staring at your friend. You can’t copy his answers.” I blushed immediately and some kids in class giggled. I obviously wasn’t copying his answers, but I was staring, and now the class was aware of it. Simon just winked.   
Math today was especially hard. My mind kept going back to everything that had gone down in the mall parking lot the other day. I parked behind the Macy’s where there weren’t very many other cars. Simon had smiled at me immediately after I took the keys out of the ignition. And he kept smiling, holding eye contact for a minute longer than expected. This is a thing he does often, I absolutely love it. Finally, I felt there was nothing else to do, but to lean in and kiss him. His hands grasped my face, cupping my cheeks gently, until eventually, his right hand was in my hair. I reached up and stroked his face softly to the rhythm of our kiss which was firm and persistent. When he pulled away slowly, my heart was thudding and mouth went dry. He again leaned in and my heart was in my throat as he kissed me harder having to lean over the consol. I grasped at his hair and my mind went blank. My tongue was in his mouth and my heart on my sleeve. The rhythm, the breathing, the kiss. And then he leaned over further and… “Mr. Greenfeld, problem number 12 please.”   
“Uhh.. sorry?’ the whole class was looking at me and Simon was chuckling knowingly.   
“Bram, the answer to problem 12 please, from the homework?”   
“Right,” I stammered, catching my breath. “x to the power of -p is greater than xy.” I answered after a second of skimming through my page of notes.   
“Right. Now let's move on to chapter seven. Textbooks open to page 294 please, class.” I was flustered and kind of embarrassed and desperately trying to not let my mind travel back to what Simon had done next, how he’d kissed my neck, and then my collar bone. Each touch filled with grace, and intensity. I had to focus on math however much I hated to.   
I flipped through chapter seven writing down some of the rules in my notebook. I glanced up and looked over at Simon. His brow was furrowed and he had this intent, focused look on his face. It was honestly kind of hot. I looked back down at my notes, trying not to stare. A few minutes later, I couldn’t help but glance up again. He was pondering and flipping through the pages of his book. He sighed and then turned around, catching me looking his way. He looked a little started, but smiled and looked back down a second later. I smiled back warmly. I read the rest of the chapter.   
After a few more minutes, our teacher told everyone to look up at the board. I moved my eyes upward as she wrote a formula on the board and told us to copy it. I could have focused on the complicated things she was going on about, but I couldn’t help but think about my adorably hot boyfriend who was just a few desks away, and within reach of my gaze. When the bell rang, I packed up my bag and followed the other shuffling feet out the door. I paused for a second so that Simon could catch up with me. He waved and walked out of the classroom right behind me. When we’d walked a couple feet, I whispered softly in his ear, just out of earshot of everyone else, “You look kinda hot when you’re focused.” His cheeks went red and he almost stumbled a little. I was giddy at this response.   
“You can’t say things like that, Bram. You have no idea what it does to me.”   
“Well, your focused look does some things to me too,” I responded casually He stared for a moment and then cleared his throat awkwardly.   
“I need some water,” he said excusing himself.   
“Oh my god, Si.” I said laughing. “Sorry for being honest.”   
“Still getting some water,” he answered playfully speeding further away from me. I caught up to him and pulled him into the staff bathroom as we passed it. Checking to see that nobody was around first. I pulled him into a long, deep kiss. I pulled away slowly, sighing contently.  
“I’ve been thinking about doing that for the past hour,” I said softly.   
“So, like the entire math class.”   
“Well, not exactly, I was also thinking about something else too.” I replied shooting him a look.   
“Oh, you mean math?”   
“Not exactly. More like what happened in the mall parking lot, stays in the mall parking lot.”   
“Shut-up, that kiss was totally PG!”   
“Not in my head.” He laughed. I checked to make sure nobody was passing in the hall and then dashed out of the bathroom, him right behind me. We waved goodbye and then headed to our next class. I couldn’t wait till lunch. We probably wouldn’t skip again, but still, at least we could hold hands under the table. That was another thing I loved to do with him!  
The next class went by in a blur and soon enough I was seated next to Simon in the cafeteria and reaching over to steal a couple of his fries. He slapped my hand away and Leah laughed, “Wow, relationship goals,” she snorted under her breath. Simon finally obliged and let me take some fries. He poked my nose when I did. It was the best. After we’d finished eating, I quietly shifted my hand against his hinting that he should take it. He glanced at me and then silently laced our fingers together, giving my hand a tight squeeze. If this is what being a relationship is like, I should have come out sooner. I mean, I think I’m out. I haven’t explicitly announced to the world that I’m gay as the day is long, but I don’t care who knows at this point. Infact, I want the world to know I was the one who got to hold Simon Spiers hand at lunch, even if secretly under the table. Leah was ranting to Nick something about some how some fandom was overrated. I really wasn’t listening. Garrett looked up from his phone and smiled at me shaking his head. I just smiled shyly, biting my lip. I was so freaking happy, and Garrett knew it. He gave me a look of I’m happy for you Greenfeld. I know that’s what he’d say if his look was words. “So,” Nick said brushing off Leah and changing the subject. “Soccer practice goes till 5:00 today, right?”   
“Mmhm.” I replied simply. “And there’s a game on Saturday at 2:00.”   
“Yeah, you all should come!”   
“I know I’ll be there, but you’re only the second reason I’m going Nick,” Simon said before glancing at me again. I smiled.   
“You could come to practice today too, you know to watch?” I said quietly.   
“Sounds like a plan, although I won’t be focusing to much on the ball, or the other soccery things, whatever you people say. I’ll probably be focusing on something else,” he smirked. Leah fake gagged.   
“Ugh, get room!” She complained. Everybody laughed. I actually wish there was one around for us to take.


	4. Bram vs. a very distracting soccer practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I ran over to Simon who was watching from the sidelines. He stood as I approached him. I was sweating and panting, but he didn’t seem even slightly phased. He tossed my water bottle to me and I chugged a good amount. “Wow, thirsty are we?” Abby asked giggling.   
> “Yeah,” I chuckled. I Smiled softly at Simon before jogging back onto the field. I tried to focus on the next drill, which was boring and easy, but I knew we needed to practice our corner kicks before the game on Saturday. I kept glancing over at the sidelines expectantly."

Bram vs. a very distracting soccer practice  
(can you guess why ;))

The field was recently mowed and the air smelt of the freshly cut grass. I dug my cleats into the ground and ran towards Garrett on the field. He waved Nick over and we both passed around a ball until coach blew his whistle. We then all gathered center field while he explained our next drill. After warming up with some high knees and a few sets of lines, we broke into groups of four and did a drill consisting of passing, crossing, and shooting. Everytime Garrett made a goal, even if I had assisted him, he threw his hands up in the air and ran towards me. I laughed him off, it was so ridiculous. After thirty minutes, coach released us to get water before we started a throw in and corner kick drill.   
I ran over to Simon who was watching from the sidelines. He stood as I approached him. I was sweating and panting, but he didn’t seem even slightly phased. He tossed my water bottle to me and I chugged a good amount. “Wow, thirsty are we?” Abby asked giggling.   
“Yeah,” I chuckled. I Smiled softly at Simon before jogging back onto the field. I tried to focus on the next drill, which was boring and easy, but I knew we needed to practice our corner kicks before the game on Saturday. I kept glancing over at the sidelines expectantly. Once, Simon stared back at me with these puppy dog eyes, content staring at me. I spaced out looking back at him till my coach blew his whistle. “Greenfeld, what’s so interesting about those bleachers?!” He demanded.   
“Uh, nothing coach.” He signaled for us to set up for a scrimmage and I jogged over to my team still shaking my head in embarrassment. Practice went by pretty fast. I was trying my hardest out on the field. Partially because I wanted to show my coach I was still focused, but mostly because I wanted to show off a little bit for my boyfriend, who I knew no matter how hard I tried, would alway say I was incredible out on the field, but still, no reason to not be extra incredible. He didn’t know much about soccer, he just really liked me.   
After we were dismissed, I walked off the field with Nick and Garrett on my heel. Simon stood up to greet me and gave me the smallest hug. I could tell he was self conscious about it since the whole team was still in view. I smiled and apologized for how sweaty I was. Simon always hugged me firmly, but gentle and I’d almost melt into him, feeling weak at the knees. He smelled like a summer breeze to me. I don’t think he wore much cologne, but he never smelled strongly of B.O. which I thanked god for. I always dabbled the smallest amount of mine on every morning, but hoped it wasn’t too strong. By the end of soccer practice, I doubted even the slightest amount remained on me. I told him I was going to the locker room to rinse off and change and he told me he’d meet me at the car in 15. I nodded and jogged away from the group. As I left, I heard Simon sigh in the distance. It was my new favorite sound.   
He was already at the car when I found him. He had his ipod out and his earbuds jammed into his ears, leaning on the hood of the vehicle. I waved to him and he turned off his music and opened the car door for me. I saw Abby and Nick across the parking lot kinda watching us. They were standing outside of Abby’s car talking, probably about us. Simon turned to me before I got in the car and said sweetly, “You were incredible on the field today.” He took my hand placing it on his chest and leaning his back against the car.   
“Thanks for coming.”   
“Are you kidding, why would I pass up the opportunity to watch my adorably hot boyfriend running around in soccer shorts.” I guess I had no response except to kiss him. I pulled back and then kissed him again, and again. Until finally, I pulled away from him slowly and hopped in the passenger seat. Not before noticing Nick and Abby staring at us and then looking away when I made eye contact. Simon got in the driver's seat and then asked me, “where to?”   
“Are your parents home?” I asked.   
“Nope, not yet.”   
“Your house I guess, I’ll text my mom.”   
“I see. Sounds like a plan.” He started the car and then backed out of the parking lot. Our hands met on the council once we were safely on the road. It was a wonderful thing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my little brother for helping me out with the soccer playing terms because I'd be lost without him!


	5. Bram vs. the empty house

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Empty house, I guess. Whatever shall we do.” I gave him a small, mischievous grin.   
>  “Probably a locked doors activity.” I replied. He laughed and pulled me into a kiss, but I stopped him. “Wait, do you want something to drink? I think we have Coke.”   
>  “I hate you.” He said.   
>  “Or we could watch something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some mildly spicy stuff, probably for young teen-up audiences. I wrote this one really quickly, sorry if it's bad.

Bram vs. the empty house

Simon pulled into his driveway and parked the car. We both stepped out and closed our doors. He unlocked the front door for me and let me step inside. I was little reluctant at first, but when he gestured and said, “You first,” I obliged. When we were inside, he called out the names of each of his family members for good measure. When there was no reply he turned to me and said, “Empty house, I guess. Whatever shall we do.” I gave him a small, mischievous grin.   
“Probably a locked doors activity.” I replied. He laughed and pulled me into a kiss, but I stopped him. “Wait, do you want something to drink? I think we have Coke.”   
“I hate you.” He said.   
“Or we could watch something.”   
“I think I was just trying not to leap at you right at the doorway, it was my first time having you over, and I was trying my best to be a good boyfriend.”   
“I know, I was just teasing. But think of everything we could have accomplished if we’d started sooner.” I giggled.   
“I don’t even know what to say,” he said smiling.   
“Well, then I guess, to take advantage of this empty house, we could have a re-do.”   
“Sounds like a pla…” I cut him off pulling him into a hard, passionate kiss. He practically stumbled back in surprize, but he grounded himself, wrapping his hands around my cheeks and pulling me into him. When we pulled apart, he giggled happily and said, “Bedroom?”   
“Yeah,” I responded almost too quickly. We dashed toward the stairs, him almost tripping over a very excited Bieber. I beat him up the stairs and waited for him at the top. He caught up and he flung the door open to his room to show me in. Stepping into Simon’s room is like entering his head. You are immediately faced with walls decorated with various posters, one being Elliott Smith, along with a few other of his favorite bands. You can see the unmade bed, his AP level textbooks scattered on the desk, and at least two opened Oreo packages can be spotted around the space at all times. I love Simon’s room, because it reminds me so much of his personality. He has playbills tacked to a board along with various selfies of him, Leah, and Nick and a few pictures of him and Abby. I even notice he’s recently added one of me with my jersey number and a heart under it. He closed the door behind us and took off his hoodie, and threw it on the floor. He’s not exactly tidy and organized like me, but not in a slob-like way, just in a Simonish way. I sat on the bed and gestured him to come closer, giving him big puppy-dog eyes. “Come here,” I said playfully.   
“Why? “ he said playing innocent.   
“Because I want you to.” I said. He slowly walked toward me and leaned down kissing me atop the forehead. “You call that a kiss,” I teased. I reached both my arms up wrapping them around his neck and pulled him forward, bringing his lips to mine. He had to bend way over and I eventually brought him all the way down so he was basically sitting on my lap. As our kisses became more and more desperate, I leaned back so that he was laying on top of me, his legs were on either side of my torso. His hand moved into my hair and he moved to kiss my neck. His tongue slightly grazed my collarbone and I let out a surprised sigh. He smiled into my neck, satisfied with himself and moved back up to my lips. He pulled back for a second and sat up on the bed. I turned my head to him and kissed his ear gently. Without pulling back, I whispered “Si.” I kissed his cheek and then again whispered, “Hey.” I grabbed his sides and kissed him, pushing him back down on the bed. He reached his hands around my back. Soon we were kissing a constant rhythm. I grasped at his t shirt till he stopped and pulled it off. I took mine off too. Simon’s hands ran across my stomach in a smooth motion and I played slightly with the waistband of his shorts, getting instant good feedback from him. I pulled away and placed kisses on his jawline. I traveled down the nape of his neck and he let out the smallest moan. I wanted to keep that small sound under lock and key forever. I ran my hands into his hair and moved my hips over top his. I stopped, feeling his hard member under mine. I paused, wondering if we should really keep going. He stopped too and sat up bringing me up with him.   
“Something wrong?” He asked nervously.   
“No, it’s just, I don’t know how far you’re comfortable going.”   
“Oh.” I got off of his lap and sat next to him on the bed.   
“I mean, I feel safe with you, and I know that you would never make me do anything I’m not ready for. I just don’t know how much further we can go without crossing any lines.” He nodded.  
“I think maybe we should pause, and then we can decide what we’re comfortable doing another time. We have plenty of time to wait on other stuff.”  
“Yeah, we should pause, but not because I don’t want to go further with you, it’s just I’m not ready, not yet. And I know we discussed some things before we knew who the other was, but I think now that we’re in an actual relationship, things are different.”   
“I understand.” He reached down and tossed my shirt back to me. We curled up in his bed and pulled the sheets over us. He put on a show Netflix and I moved closer into him. After all the time I’ve spent imagining cuddling up next to him, I finally could. I put my arm around him and he leaned on my shoulder. My hand rested on his thigh. I think this was my happy place.


	6. Bram vs. Simon in glasses and Simon without

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think back to the time Simon came to lunch after a show run and was still in his stage makeup. He had been wearing eyeliner and his contacts. Leah had said “Holyfuck Simon,” in response to his appearance and that was exactly what I had been thinking. I mean Simon is adorable in his glasses. They always fall to his nose and he has to push them back up, which is the cutest thing ever. Seeing him in his glasses gives me butterflies in the stomach. So yeah, I love Simon with glasses, but Simon with contacts is like this other realm."

Bram vs. Simon in glasses and Simon without

At school on Monday, Simon walked into first period English and I almost choked on my water. I can’t believe I forgot how hot my boyfriend was. I think back to the time Simon came to lunch after a show run and was still in his stage makeup. He had been wearing eyeliner and his contacts. Leah had said “Holyfuck Simon,” in response to his appearance and that was exactly what I had been thinking. I mean Simon is adorable in his glasses. They always fall to his nose and he has to push them back up, which is the cutest thing ever. Seeing him in his glasses gives me butterflies in the stomach. So yeah, I love Simon with glasses, but Simon with contacts is like this other realm. I am thrown off every time because, in the words of Leah, “Holyfuck Simon,” how are your that hot? How are your eyes that beautiful.   
I sat mouth slightly open and staring. “Hi,” he said plopping down next to me on the couch. I was still speechless. How was he mine. Garrett gave me a funny look. Probably because I hadn’t said anything in over a minute and had been just staring at Simon.   
“You wore your contacts today.” I pointed out, forgetting the polite thing to do. I should have at least said “hi” first.   
“Oh, um yeah. My glasses have been annoying me lately.” He said setting down his things.   
“Oh, well I just noticed because you don’t wear them that often. You have super grey eyes.”   
“Hmm, I’ve heard that before. I always thought my eyes were kinda plain.”   
“Well, I love them,” I responded quietly so only he could hear. He smiled. “How are you?” I ask making small talk.   
“Really, good.” he said. It made me happy to hear, because I wanted him to be happy, it made me happier. I wanted badly to kiss him, but I knew it wasn’t the right time. I stuck out my leg, pushing my foot to his. It was a small gesture, but it was enough. Garrett just laughed to himself.   
Simon had out his script and was running his lines before class started. “New play?” I asked quietly.   
“Oh, yeah. I got a smallish part, but it’s an okay role.”   
“What’s the show?”   
“It’s called Almost, Maine. It’s by John Cariani. I think its a romantic comedy. We just got our scripts yesterday. I play East and I’m the swing for a couple other characters.”   
“Swing?”   
“A swing is somebody who understudies for a couple big roles.”   
“Oh. Well, the play sounds cool. Do you have to kiss anyone on stage?” I ask in a jokingly jealous tone.   
“I don’t think so, but my character’s straight, and you know there’s only one person I’d enjoy kissing.”   
“Hmm, I wonder who that is.” We both giggled. Mr. Wise called the class to order and we both turned our eyes to the pages in our book.   
Simon had rehearsal everyday this week, and I had soccer practice. Our coach released us a little early for the first time ever today, so after changing in the locker room, I went to the auditorium to wait for Simon to finish up. Mrs. Albright was onstage with him and one other girl, some senior, showing them some blocking. I didn’t want to interrupt, so I took a seat in the back of the auditorium and scrolled through the tumbler. I don’t check it very often, but there was nothing else to do. I heard Simon’s voice and looked up. Him and the girl were running some lines on the stage, something about a heart in a bag. I was really confused. A moment later, Mrs. Albright called The character Hope up to the stage and Taylor Metternich hopped up from her seat to join Simon. Taylor and and her talked for a minute and then she called the rest of the cast to join her upstage. A few minutes later, she said everyone was released. I waited for Simon to grab his things. He noticed me sitting in the back on his way out and his face lit up with a smile. He waved goodbye to Cal and Mrs. Albright as we left. “How long have you been here?” he asked me.   
“Not long, 10 minutes maybe. My coach let us go early.”   
“I was just about to head up to the bleachers to meet up with you. Am I still driving you home?”   
“Yup!” I respond. “You were great on stage during the little bit I saw of you.”   
“Thank you. And thanks for waiting for me.”   
“Of course.” He takes my hand. There was nobody else in the hallway except a scattering of drama kids on their way out and they all knew we were dating. “Just one question though.”   
“Uh huh…”   
“What’s with the heart in the bag thing you guys were rehearsing?”   
“Oh, right. It’s kind of confusing, you’ll have to see the play.”   
“I’ll definitely come. Probably to every performance.” He chuckled.   
“Why’s that.”   
“Just that my boyfriend’s amazingly talented and watching him perform makes me the happiest ever.”   
“I see.” Simon kissed my cheek and then pushed open the double doors of the school. We were suddenly shrouded in bright sunlight and I had to squint. We got in his car and he drove me home. He got out of the car when he’d parked in my driveway and gave me a goodbye kiss. I didn’t want him to leave, but we couldn’t hang around each other’s houses everyday. He waved to me as he drove off. By the time I got inside my house, I missed him already. Oh god, who had I become?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reference the show "Almost, Maine" in this chapter. It's a wonderful show by John Cariani about young love. My high school performed it this year, so I thought I'd include it in this fic.


	7. Bram vs. I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I’d thought about saying those words to Simon on many occasions, and found myself almost on plenty of others. Like whenever we sign off our calls during the day, or text each other cute goodnight messages, and when he gives me a sweet compliment between classes. I could have said it any of those times. I almost have. It was not that I wasn’t sure If I did love him that was holding me back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me extra long to write. It's my favorite so far, and I put a lot of heart into it. I hope you all like it!

Bram vs. I love you

Hey, be there in 15, can’t wait 💖 I smiled at my phone. Simon and I were going on a date night. The first one in over two weeks. We’d hang out regularly, but this was special! I was so excited. I hopped up from my bed and looked through my closet. I had a couple different button ups I could choose from, but I settled on a soft-white turtleneck. I remembered Simon telling me once I looked cute in it. I went to the bathroom and quickly ran a comb through my hair, although, since it’s curly, it wasn’t the most cooperative. I contemplated putting on a little cologne and finally decided a little wouldn’t hurt. I dabbled the tiniest bit on my neck and took a deep breath. Simon told me we were going to get dinner, but the next thing was supposed to be a surprise. I didn’t ask him any more questions.  
A few minutes later, the doorbell rang and I ran to get it before my mom answered. My mom had met Simon, and I was just waiting for a good opportunity to introduce him to my dad and step mom. Especially with a new baby on the way, I didn’t think now was the right time to have the meet the boyfriend dinner with my dad. I opened the door and my heart melted a slight bit once more. Simon was wearing a black button up shirt and jeans. Simple, but a big step from his all hoodie wardrobe (that still honestly rocked my world). His hair looked bright against the doorway; messy as usual, but in a cute, unintentional, Simonish way. He smiled so wide I could see his slight dimples and the crease under his eyes. His beautiful moon-grey eyes. How was my boyfriend so beautiful. “Hi,” I said waving nervously. We’d gone on a date before, I don’t know why this was so hard for me. I gestured him to step inside.  
“Hey,” he said. He stepped in and gave me a sweet little hello kiss. It was perfect.  
“Do you want something to drink? Water maybe?”  
“I’m fine, but thanks.” He responded lightly. “Are you about ready to go soon?”  
“Yup, just let me get my coat and say goodbye to my mom.”  
“Of course.” I called upstairs to my mom.  
“Mom, I’m hea…”  
“I’m right here sweetie,” my mom said stepping out of the kitchen into the living room.  
“Hey, Simon, It’s nice to see you.”  
“You too.” I grabbed my coat and kissed my mom on the cheek goodbye.  
“We’ll be out for a bit, no later than 10:00 though.” She said that was okay and waved us goodbye as we headed out the door. Simon hopped into the driver’s seat and I went around to the other side. When we were both in our seats, he leaned over giving me one more sweet, little kiss. “Happy date night,” I said chuckling weakly.  
“It is.” He turned the keys in the ignition and began backing out of the driveway. “So, where should we get dinner?”  
“Um, how about that place in the mall we saw the other day?”  
“Oh, yeah. Let’s check it out!” He said, turning onto the road.  
“So, do I get any hints as to what comes after dinner?”  
“Well, dessert, obviously, but other than that, no.”  
“I guess I’ll have to wait and see.”  
“Yes you will.” We were silent for a moment, but his free hand eventually lifted off the steering wheel and met mine just barely. It was the perfect thing.  
He parked behind the Macy’s, as usual, and gave me one more kiss before unbuckling and stepping out of the car. He locked the doors and then took my hand, lacing our fingers together. The parking lot was empty, so it was perfect. Just us, and a million miles of distance.  
Dinner was lovely, and we never ran out of things to talk about. That’s the great thing about Simon and I, we don’t run out of things to discuss. Sure, I was rather shy around him at first, mostly because I was hardcore crushing, but also because I’m not the kind of person who opens up easily. Until I was Blue, and began anonymously talking to him online, I’d never really opened up to anyone about the things that really, really mattered to me. Blue was kind of my superhero identity, like I told him, and I was finally able to open up to someone without the pressure of being Bram Greenfeld: the soccer player with a high GPA. Back when we were emailing was the time where I really uncovered some of the little things that made me, well, me. I knew Simon saw those little things in me. Like the way I notice things and flirt by accident. He noticed those things because he likes those things about me, and he cares about all those small aspects that make up my personality. Like he had said in that final email. The one he signed off with “Love, Simon.” The one that I’d read flustered late at night before running out on Garrett, desperate to make it to the carnival on time. The email that had made me run across town and ride the one thing at the carnival I’d swore to never ride again. The email that made me believe in love; being in love. In love with Simon. He’d said “I know who you are. I mean, I still don’t know your name, or what you look like, or all the other stuff. But you have to understand that I really do know you.” And he did know me. And he does. And I know him. I know Simon Spier. He’s considerate and selfless; adorable and funny. He lights up a room, and reminds you to smile. He’s smart, but doesn’t know it. He’s kind, which he knows, and he’s incredibly talented in the simplest of ways. He’s a real person, and one that I love with all my heart, not that I’ve told him that with those words yet. Blue said “Love” to Jacques, but I’m still waiting on Bram to find the right time.  
When you first say “I love you” to someone, and you mean it, it's almost like your signing a contract. Agreeing to not judge them, and to try and make them feel as happy as they make you. It's like you’re giving them a small piece of your heart that they will hopefully not throw away, hopefully not lose, and hopefully hold onto forever. I’d thought about saying those words to Simon on many occasions, and found myself almost on plenty of others. Like whenever we sign off our calls during the day, or text each other cute goodnight messages, and when he gives me a sweet compliment between classes. I could have said it any of those times. I almost have. It was not that I wasn’t sure If I did love him that was holding me back. I knew I loved him before I even knew who he was; when he was just a pen name on a screen. I knew I loved him when he asked to hold my hand at the carnival that night, and I knew I loved him every time he squeezed my hand under the table at lunch. I was holding back more because I wanted the moment to be perfect, and not an accident. I couldn’t help but to be a bit of a romantic, and I knew he was one too. No matter how many times he’s tried to convince everybody he’s actually a cynic. I see right through him. I know he watches Love Actually every Christmas with his family and loves it! I guess I wasn’t sure if I was ready to hear myself say the words, or to hear him say them back. I knew I wasn’t ready for him to not.  
We exited the restaurant, moving at a slow, drunk happy pace. He stopped before opening the car door to pull me into a light, but lingering kiss. When he pulled away, I swear I felt the kick a minute later. “So, where is our next destination?” I inquired.  
“Like I said, dessert comes after dinner.” He smiled mischievously.  
“Is that seriously all I’m getting.”  
“Yup.” We drove for a while and he stopped and parked somewhere in Atlanta. It was about a half hour drive from the mall. We got out and strolled down the cute lit streets, bustling with people. He gestured at an adorable little place called That’s the Scoop, and we stepped inside. The door had one of those cute little chimes that rang when we opened and closed the door. “I wanted to take you for dessert here.” He gestured to the array of options laid out before me.  
“You took me out for gelato, that’s so sweet,” I said beaming.  
“Not just any gelato, look at the flavors.” I did, and one definitely caught my eye. “I’ll have a sample of the Reeses Lover’s Dream, please.” I asked the man at the counter. “Wait, who am I kidding, I’ll just get a scoop, I know I’m gonna love it!” Simon chuckled, pleased with himself.  
“I discovered this place a while back and I knew I’d have to bring you here.”  
“You’re amazing, and so is this,” I said pointing at my scoop of heaven in a bowl. Simon ordered a fancy cookies and cream gelato with extra Oreo crumbs on top, of course. We strolled down the streets of Atlanta, Georgia, eating or icy-cold treats. He lead me to the park a few blocks away and found us a nice bench to sit at and finish our gelato. The sun was setting and the sky was clear. The silhouettes of stars could already be seen faintly in the distance. Fading into view. Nobody was around. The only people in the park were far off, or distracted. I finished my gelato and offered to throw away Simon’s cup too. I sat back down close to Simon, leaning into his side, my head resting against his. I put my left arm around his back, and gently took his hand into my right. Stroking his thumb with mine. We hadn’t spoken in a minute, so I broke the silence. “If regular Reeses aren’t better than sex, then at least that gelato was.” He giggled and then quickly responded.  
“I guess we won’t know which is better until we’ve tried both.” I smirked in the dim light. The sun was almost set, and the sky was a beautiful cascade of colors. I turned so my face so I could meet Simon’s eyes. His figured curved in slightly, to meet the tilt of my figure.  
“Si,” I said, barely loud enough for the both of us to hear. “I need you to know something.”  
“Okay..” He was still.  
“And I’ve never been so sure of anything. It’s actually harder at this point for me not to tell you this.”  
“What is it, Bram?” There was a slight hitch in his voice. It made my stomach turn.  
“I love you.” He was quiet for one second and my heart almost took a breath, pausing expectantly.  
“I love you too.” My heart exhaled. I leaned in and kissed him. It was soft and sweet. He kissed me like a beautiful song is sung. I let my lips linger, hovering right in front of his. His air was my air, and the whole world seemed to pause. Our surroundings were quiet. I kissed him again, pulling away so slowly, my lip bounced back. That quiet noise. The sound of our lips pulling apart, filled the dark, silent, pausing air around us. Everything was cold, and still, but that small, perfect sound echoed in my head and lingered in my mind. I was in love with Simon Spier and he was in love with me.


	8. Bram vs. a bunch of drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I shuffled into the school auditorium and found a seat in one of the middle rows. I set the flowers I had picked out to give Simon carefully on the floor next to me. I looked around the theater and was startled by the sudden noise of someone sitting down in the seat next to me. It was Leah"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter. This one was pretty hard to write, I tried to make it cute while still facing some very real issues lightly. To everyone out there that has felt judged, or scared, or under pressure because of the way people look at you, or the way they talk about you, just know that a lot of people suck. But some don't! Try and always make sure you're only letting in the people that are best for you, not the ones that suck, or don't appreciate you for you. Don't try and let the things those kinds of people say, and do, bring you down. Live on top of your own world!!! (And that's some 10/10 quality motivational speaking, am I right?) 
> 
> Also, sorry if there's typos in this chapter (or any of them)!

Bram vs. A bunch of drama  
(The theater kind and the other)

I shuffled into the school auditorium and found a seat in one of the middle rows. I set the flowers I had picked out to give Simon carefully on the floor next to me. I looked around the theater and was startled by the sudden noise of someone sitting down in the seat next to me. It was Leah. “Hey,” she said.   
“Hi,” I replied. She asked to see my program and I handed it over to her. She flipped through it and found the cast list.   
“There’s your boyfriend,” she said pointing out Simon. His picture was pretty good. All the pictures in the program were simple, not professional headshots or anything. Except Taylor Metternich’s. I wouldn’t be surprised if she hired a professional to take her photo.   
Nick and Abby joined us in our row just as the lights were dimming. Mrs. Albright gave a quick little speech about how hard working all the students in the show were, and thanked a couple parent sponsors. Then, the lights went off and the show began.   
Simon appeared in a couple scenes. Every Time I saw him on stage I perked up and watched extra intently. He did have to kiss someone on stage to my dismay, but it was some senior girl and I’m pretty sure it was just a stage kiss. I was the only one who got the real deal from him. His performance was incredible. He spoke with diction and emotion, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t miss any lines. Taylor and everyone else were great too. I cringed when I saw Martin Addison on stage playing the only gay character. It was hilariously ironic, but in the I want to die now way. The play was funny and cute, and I loved all the hidden metaphors for love. After the show was over, I clapped wildly, almost brought to happy tears. I felt so proud, which was a new emotion for me. It made me wonder if this was the way Simon felt when he came to my soccer games. It was a nice thought. He always came to my games if he could, just like I came to all of his shows. I stood up and Leah laughed at me, “You look so proud,” she beamed.  
“I am proud! Aren’t you?” I guess she couldn’t disagree.   
“Yes, Simon was great,” she admitted, smiling faintly. About ten minutes later, Simon came out from backstage and found our huddle of friends. Before I could congratulate him, Abby was running towards him at full speed yelling.   
“Siiiiiimonnn, you were so amazing”   
“Haha thanks,” he laughed, embracing her in a hug. I waved at him and handed him the bouquet of flowers in my hand.   
“You were incredible up there,” I said grinning the proudest grin ever. He looked speechless, like he was about to cry.   
“Thank you for coming, and thank you for the flowers, they’re beautiful.” He embraced me in a hug.   
“Well, I thought about just getting you Oreos, but I thought I’d be classic because why not.”   
“Well, thank you.”   
“You were great up there, you have such a good stage presence.” He smiled. He looked so happy and genuine. He was wearing his usual sweatshirt and skinny jeans. He still had on some of his stage makeup and his hair was slightly spiked up, probably from the rush to get down here to greet us. He had this after show glow, almost. Like the excitement of being on stage still hadn’t faded from his smile. I couldn’t even comprehend how proud I was of my boyfriend, and so I found myself doing the normal thing to do when you see your boyfriend come off stage. Well, the heteronormative thing. I leaned in and kissed him. It was just a small, happy, kiss, that said it all. He smiled when I pulled back, and I smiled too. “Great job”   
“I love you,” he sort of whispered. I was still stuck in my own little world, but soon enough the reality of the situation all came flying back to me. I looked around. Nick, Abby, and Leah were chatting. Nick came closer to pat Simon on the back.   
“Nice job up there bro,” he said. Simon nodded, smiling wide. I looked around the room and heard some people whispering. I realized I had just kissed my boyfriend in front of a bunch of people. It made me mad that I had to even be worried about that being a big deal! People kissed their significant others in public all the time, but when I kissed Simon after the show, people felt they had to whisper about how “He turned me gay.” I heard someone ask “Wait, Bram’s gay? The soccer player?” I heard my name and Simon’s name being thrown around along with other words. Words that started with the letter f and ending with a g. Simon was distracted talking to the others and obviously wasn’t hearing what I was. Suddenly, it felt like the walls were closing in on me. I felt my mouth go dry and my heart beat was quickly speeding up. I caught a few people staring in our direction and it made me gulp. My social anxiety was getting to me. It felt like million eyes were on me at once.   
“Bram.” I heard Simon’s voice. “Bram, are you okay?” I turned around.   
“What?” I said.   
“You’re looking around weird. Is something wrong?”   
“No, I’m fine.” I was lying. Nick and Abby were talking and Leah had walked off. I tried to listen to their conversation, but their words were drowned out by a growing sensation. The faint whispers of other conversations filled my head. I felt a weight in my chest. “I, I gotta…” I dashed out of the theater and into the hallway. People were gathered in clumps, mingling on their way out. I turned down the next hallway and plopped down on the floor against the lockers. I felt nauseated. I leaned my head down so it was between my knees. I took a deep breath because I could. I could finally breathe again. I just sat for a minute till I heard Simon’s voice; clear and concise; gentle and comforting.   
“Hey, “ He sat down next to me. “What’s wrong?” He reached out his hand to take mine, comforting me by gently stroking it. My head was still down. He let go of my hand for just a second and reached out to tilt up my chin so I was facing him. “You can talk to me.” I knew I could, it was just that I didn’t really know what was wrong myself.   
“I.. It’s just that..” I put my head down again and a single tear trickled down my cheek. He reached out his hand and caught it before it dropped off my chin. He moved closer and pulled my face down to his shoulder. I sort of melted into him sobbing. My tears soaked his shirt, but he didn’t seem to care. He just held me there while I cried. When I stopped, he didn’t ask me anything, he just pulled me in closer to him, wrapping me into a hug. I felt safe in his arms. Finally, after I had dried my eyes, I spoke. “I guess it just hit me how unfair it is that we’re so in love and yet I can’t kiss you in public without dicks at our school making a fuss. When I kissed you in the auditorium, it was out of instinct because I was just so overcome by happiness and pride. It was every natural instinct for me to kiss you right then, but when I pulled away, I saw people staring and I heard people whispering and I guess the pressure just got to me. I don’t know if I’ve talked with you about this before, but I do have slight social anxiety. I mean being with you has helped me open up and all, but sometimes when I feel looked at or judged, I just close up and it feels like the walls are growing. I feel nauseated and scared.” I paused, realizing how many words I had just said. Simon just nodded and then pulled me into a hug once more. “I get scared sometimes and it’s a lot. I just hope, one day, I’ll live somewhere and have the confidence to kiss you in public and to not feel this way.”   
“Bram, thank you for telling me all that. I don’t want you to feel any pressure. I just want you to know that I love you, and if you’re ever feeling this way again, you can tell me and we’ll leave. As for people gossiping: I guess that’s just the way it is. It sucks. I guess I never thought about how it would affect you and for that I’m sorry.”   
“You don’t need to be sorry. I’m the one who kissed you. I’m not going to change what I do around people. We both agreed to keep our relationship pretty quiet, and we should stick to that for now, but I’m not ashamed to be with you and I’m not ashamed to be gay. I don’t care if people know we’re dating or know my sexuality. I’m just saying it sucks how people make such a big deal, and sometimes people’s comments stress me out and piss me off.” I sighed, taking another deep, shaky breath.   
“Well, people suck, but some don’t. And this,” Simon gestured to us. “This is the best thing that has EVER happened to me.” He had officially cheered me up.   
“Sorry, I don’t know what just happened. I just got really stressed out and emotional. You are the best thing that’s happened to me as well. I love you Simon Spier.” I kissed him, my cheeks still sticky from the tears. Everything that I was feeling: the fear, the stress, the pressure, the sadness; it was all overcome by happiness. I was the happiest ever with Simon by my side.


	9. Bram vs. trying to study

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hallelujah, the time had come. It was finally spring break. My plans for the week off, were to spend lots of time with Simon, study for exams, and binge all of my new favorite show. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment below, I'd love feedback!!

Bram vs. trying to study

Hallelujah, the time had come. It was finally spring break. My plans for the week off, were to spend lots of time with Simon, study for exams, and binge all of my new favorite show. Big news had already gotten out on the friend group chat “WaHo gang,” that Nick was throwing a little spring break party tomorrow night. It would just be the core friend group, so it’d be pretty fun.   
Before the break, multiple of our teachers announced that we’d be taking big exams when we got back. So I knew studying had to be on the top of my to do list, no matter what Simon said to try and convince me otherwise.  
After Nick’s party on Saturday, I came home exhausted, but determined to begin studying for at least one of my classes. A few pages into my math textbook, I got a facetime request from “Si 💓” I couldn’t not pick up, he was my boyfriend and I always enjoyed hearing from him. Hearing his voice was honestly a relief. “Hey,” he said.   
“Hi, hi,” I replied, still reading my textbook.   
“Whatcha doing?”   
“Studying, as should you. We have a big test in math and science after the break.”   
“Eh, I’ll do that later. Actually, maybe you could help me study tomorrow. We could hangout.”   
“Sounds good, do you wanna come over around noon?”   
“Yes, let’s do that.”   
“My mom will be at work so...”   
“Oh, I see.” He smirked.   
“So,” I continued, “we can focus better.”   
“Oh, that’s no fun.” I laughed. I put down my pencil and stared, for a second, at the image of my boyfriend. He was on his bed with his head up against his pillows. He was just laying there, but it filled me with happiness even just seeing him. “Can we talk about what happened at the party?” He asked.   
“Oh, you mean how Garrett walked in on us making out in the hallway.”   
“Um, well yeah.” He giggled.   
“There’s nothing to talk about. I talked to him a bit after and he just said ‘so that’s how it is’”   
“Ha, well, I guess a lot of our friends don’t know our personal life. It’s not like we do anything around any of them. Except hold hands or kiss each other on the cheek maybe.”   
“Mmh.” I nodded. “At least we still had our shirts on at that point.”   
“Yeah, any other time we wouldn’t have,” Simon remarked. This made me laugh. “I wanna show you something.” He got up from the bed and walked to another part of his room. He switched the camera around to show me the board where he tacked up photos of his friends. He had made some new editions recently, all of me. I smiled seeing the selfie of us where he’s kissing my cheek. He has another picture up, just of me standing in the park smiling. “I wanted to put some more pictures of you up because you’re really important to me. Also, I can see you from my bed now anytime, which is perfect for daydreaming.“   
“And the like?” I cut in. He burst out laughing at our inside joke.   
“Yes, and the like.” I realized I was supposed to be studying at this time, but it was too late for that now. Simon and I would probably end up just staying up all night talking. He’s very distracting. I guess there was always tomorrow for us to study!  
On Sunday, I heard the doorbell ring at about noon. I rushed down the stairs to get the door for Simon. I had tried to be productive all morning, but everything I did just resolved in me watching my show, or thinking about Simon. So far, I wasn’t sticking to my plan! Simon brought with him his backpack with all his textbooks. I smiled as I answered the door and let him inside. “Hey, you,” I said as he stepped inside.   
“Hi.” He smiled. I brought out a bag of chips for us to snack on.   
“Do you wanna study in here, or go up to my room?”   
“Anything works for me,” he replied.   
“Well, I have to go upstairs to get my books anyways, so let’s just go up there.” We went upstairs and got comfortable on my bed, spreading our books out in between us. I pulled out my math first.   
We were able to focus on math for about twenty minutes before we started getting off task. The subject in math we were working on was proving really confusing and exhausting. I started getting worked up and stressed, unable to solve all the practice equations. “Ugh, I don’t get this,” I complained.   
“Its ok,” Simon comforted. “Give yourself some time. We’ll figure this out.” I sighed in exasperation.   
“It's just so confusing!” I pressed my hand to my temple.   
“Hey, hey. Calm down.” Simon reached out and took both of my arms in his hands. He slowly pulled me into a kiss. Just like that, my mind went blank. For a second I forgot about solutions and variables and rules. I got wrapped up in the kiss and soon enough we weren’t just kissing. His hands grasped at my shirt and I was holding him by his waist. I stopped for a second just to safely move the textbooks out of the area, as to not damage them. I felt suddenly dominate and leaned in to kiss his jaw and all the way down his neck. Seeing his shirt in the way, I lifted it off of him, continuing my ministrations down his chest. He moaned under his breath. I jumped back up to his mouth.   
“So much for doing math,” I whispered, my voice slightly strained. He was now kissing my collarbone, his hands traveling down the length of my arms.   
“We can always do that later.” He pulled back and lifted off my shirt. We kissed for about a minute later till I slowed us down.   
“We should keep studying though.”   
“Ugh, why do you have to be so smart?” He fake complained.   
“I thought you liked how much of a nerd I am.” I teased.   
“I do. You’re sooo smart! It’s actually incredible how smart you are. I’ll try and stop distracting you.”   
“Um, you have to study too.”   
“Oh, right.” I handed him his shirt back and we both took a minute to calm ourselves down. I managed to stay focused on math for about ten more minutes before, once again, getting distracted. Simon turned to me, exasperated with his studies. I set down my stuff and turned to look at him. His dark, moon-grey eyes called out to me, and so did his red lips, slightly swollen from earlier. He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “I’m bored,” he said.   
“Yeah, we should take a break.”   
“Hmm, what type of break?” He looked deep into my eyes as he smiled. I loved how his eyes lit up when he smiled. I bit my lip. God, I wanted him. He leaned in, latching his lip onto mine, and pulling me into a dynamic kiss. I felt a soft, ache below my stomach, which, was in knots. He put out his hand and placed it on my thigh. I took his hand in mine as I kissed him. Our kisses were tender and firm and we immediately found a rhythm. I found myself slowly moving our hands into my lap, except, I pulled mine away to run it through his soft hair. He kept his hand where I’d placed it. As our kisses became more, and more desperate, he slowly crept his hands toward the waistband of my shorts. His handed slipped halfway inside and he grasped my hip gently. I felt myself moving my hand towards his wrist. I ever so slightly tugged at his hand, pushing it closer to my front. “Si,” I barely choked out. “I want you to..” I trailed off as his hand moved into my shorts. I froze as I felt his hand on me. It was everything I needed to distract me from the stressful math we’d been doing. We never finished studying.


	10. Bram vs. awkward family dinners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dad, this is Simon, my boyfriend. Simon, this is my dad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it goes! The boyfriend meets the family chapter you probably haven't been waiting for, but I'm giving you anyways!!!

Bram vs. awkward family dinners

“Dad, this is Simon, my boyfriend. Simon, this is my dad.” My dad leaned forward and shook his hand.   
“It’s nice to meet Simon.”   
“You too Mr. Greenfeld.” I could tell he was nervous, and so was I. So was my dad, I think. I had been preparing for this moment for way too long. This was the moment I pieced together two big parts of my life. Simon had driven down to Savannah with me and tonight we were going to dinner with my dad and stepmother. It was only natural that it’d be awkward, but it was also a right of passage to have everyone sit down in a fancy restaurant, where everyone already feels awkward, and have your dad discuss how “totally cool” it is that your dating now. I could only hope that embarrassing childhood memories weren’t on the menu.   
“Since you two are staying here for the weekend, why don’t you show Simon to your room, Bram. That way he can unpack.” He then gave us an almost concerned look. “Or are you going to need separate rooms?” I looked at Simon who had this wide-eyed, "please get me out of this discussion," look on his face. I quickly shook my head.   
“We’ll be fine with just the one, dad.”   
“Oh, alright.” As hard as it was for me to flat out tell my dad my boyfriend and I were comfortable sleeping together, it would have been weirder to say that we were not! I took Simon by the hand and led him up the stairs to my room. I mean, technically it was my room. When I stayed here at my dad’s house, which was about once a month plus holidays, yes it was the place I stayed, but it wasn’t “my room.” It wasn’t filled to the brim with things that were mine. It was just a basic room with a bed, a dresser, and curtains. I kept a few clothing articles in the dresser and a few books on top, but other than that, it was just space. I offered Simon to take the bottom drawer of the dresser to unpack his things, but he said he was fine keeping everything in his suitcase. It was probably a smart move. We were only staying two nights, and unpacking would have just given him more work later.   
“So, you met my dad,” I said re-stating the obvious.   
“Mmh, he seems nice.” He looked up from his lap. “I was a little nervous, but I think that’s normal.”   
“Definitely! I was nervous about meeting your family too, and they’re wonderful!” I took his hand, placing it on my thigh. “Nervous for dinner.” He looked up and smiled.   
“No, actually. I like getting to know people, and, I mean, I bet the food will be good.”   
“Yeah, my dad always takes us out to eat at fancy places. The place we’re going to is pretty nice. Speaking of which.” I looked down at my t-shirt. “I should probably change.”   
“Me too.” Simon was, of course, wearing a hoodie. The choice of the day was all black. Simple, but classic. “Can I change in here?”   
“Yeah, of course.” I stood up and went to the dresser. He dug through his suitcase.   
“What do you think, sweater or button up?” I asked him holding up one of both in each hand.  
“I’m torn, you look good in everything!” He smiled up at me. I scrunched my nose. I settled on a light, blue button up. I glanced back up at him. He was standing about three feet away and had his shirt off. I couldn’t help but stare a bit. He slipped on a grey, collared shirt and buttoned it up. He turned around and caught me looking. His cheeks flushed, “What?”   
“Sorry, you’re just so..” My voice trailed off. We were both silent for a second.  
“God, Bram, learn to finish your sentences.” He smiled and shook his head.   
When we finished getting ready, we hopped down the stairs and sat on the couch for a bit until it was time to go. We chatted about random stuff. My dad called to us, a few minutes later, that we were leaving in fifteen and that Regina was going to meet us at the restaurant since she was coming from work. Regina was my step-mom.   
When we got to the restaurant, Simon and I took one side of the booth, and my dad sat across from us. We were soon joined by Regina and she waved hello to us. She was almost 7 months pregnant, which was kind of hard to comprehend. I still couldn’t fathom that in two months I would no longer be an only child! She sat down next to my dad and he introduced her to Simon, who shook her hand happily. After we ordered our food, my dad started up some small talk. “So, how did you two meet?” Simon and I were silent for a second. We looked at each other. This would be a long night.   
“Well,” he started. “We met two years ago at school. We sat at the same lunch table, but we never really talked.”   
“Yeah, and I had liked him for a while, but I never said anything.”   
“Wait, really.” Simon nudged me, scrunching his nose. He then said slightly under his breath, “Well, you were always cute Bram Greenfeld in my head.” I smiled, and then looked up at my dad who was seemingly amused at our side conversation.   
“Anyways,” I continued. “We started talking online and fell for each other, and it’s been like this since January.” I finished by taking Simon’s hand firmly in mine and smiling up at him. He nodded in agreement. We could have gone in detail about how we anonymously emailed for a few months, fell in love, Simon got outted, and then we shared a grand identity reveal in person at the carnival, but I thought it best to just leave it simple enough for them to understand. I think it was an unspoken agreement between us that we wouldn’t get into the whole “big story” with our families. Except, I’m pretty sure Simon told Alice everything. But that was just because she was being nosy and overly invested in our relationship (but in a really sweet way).   
My dad nodded approvingly and Regina said, “Aw, you guys are adorable.”   
“Yes, yes we are,” Simon agreed, smiling to himself. I laughed. Our food came and we kept up the small talk while we ate. Simon asked when my stepmother was due and she said in June. Only one or two embarrassing stories about me came up. My mom was the worst parent when it came to oversharing my childhood. My dad was the worst when it came to oversharing everything else. After all, he was Mr. “Did you know Cassanova was bi!” Or as Simon would say, “Freaking Casanova!” Overall, the dinner went pretty smoothly and Simon seemed to be enjoying himself, along with my family. I felt a little awkward at times, but that was expected.   
We all drove back to the house after things wrapped up. After some time of chatting with my dad in the living room, Simon and I retired to my room. We got into comfy clothing and cuddled up on the bed. I wrapped my arms around Simon, leaning into his chest. “I like this,” I said.   
“Me too,” he agreed.  
“I like being here. Right here. I could stay wrapped in your arms, close to falling asleep forever.”   
“Maybe not forever, but I might be on board with that plan,” he chuckled. I smiled and leaned up to kiss him. I fell asleep, just like that; wrapped in his arms. I drifted off to sleep with a feeling of security. For all I knew, in the dream world, I was there, in his arms, for eternity.


	11. Bram vs. Bro day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Today, was bro day (yes, I know the name needs work). It’d just be Garrett, Nick and I. Eventually, Nick would probably run off, as expected, to be with Abby, and then it would be just Garrett and me: “Dynamic Duo”, “come as a pair.” Just like it used to be. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garrett Laughlin is a wonderful human being who deserves appreciation and the utmost respect! This chapter is really short, but I wanted to throw in a quick chapter focusing on Garrett and Bram's relationship, and a little bit of Nick. Sorry, it's not full of adorable Simon and Bram fluff, but I thought this chapter was important considering the fact that I'm writing from Bram's perspective and Bram is best friends with Garrett.

Bram vs. Bro day

“And once again he scores!!!! *Hold while the crowd goes wild*” Garrett was currently running full speed across his backyard, shirt off and hands in the air.  
“Garrett, you’re literally playing two people, on a half field, with a tiny goal. You don’t have to do that everytime,” Nick argued. I just laughed to myself. Classic Garrett. I loved him for it.  
Sometimes, people might ask me how I was such good friends with Garrett, considering how different we were. I guess we just balanced each other out. Much like Simon and I do. Opposites don’t always attract, but when they do, things just might work out. It didn’t matter, when it came to Garrett and me, that he was loud and boisterous, and that was quiet and reserved. I had a way of communicating with him without having to yell in his face. And, he, in return, had ways of showing me he really did care about me. I could almost see through the mask of energetic jock that he displayed and saw him as the giant dork who I loved.  
Sometimes, it was even just little things; things we left unsaid, that truly displayed his care for me, and the preciousness of our friendship. Like, he would often tease me about things I secretly wanted people to know and knew what not to say because I was secretly ashamed.  
Simon and I had a similar relationship, although we rarely left things unsaid (and we’ve definitely done some things I’d never do with Garrett). Simon was one of the few people I was always comfortable talking to about anything. Which, I realize not many are lucky enough to have in a relationship! He was confident and brave. I wish I were those things. He tended to rely on social situations while I tended to drift away, even though, I always loved the company. Especially his. We balanced each other out and I loved him more than anything in my universe. Actually, scratch that, I loved him and he was my universe.  
Every touch, every dream, and every breath, I dedicated to him, but today I couldn’t be distracted by my many “Simon thoughts.” Today, was bro day (yes, I know the name needs work). It’d just be Garrett, Nick and I. Eventually, Nick would probably run off, as expected, to be with Abby, and then it would be just Garrett and me: “Dynamic Duo”, “come as a pair.” Just like it used to be.  
After about an hour of our endless two on one soccer game, the three of us went inside Garrett’s house to get snacks. We raided the cupboards before seating ourselves in front of his television. “Do you guys wanna play some video games or something?” Nick asked us through a mouthful of chips.  
“Wow, remember your manners, Eisner,” Garrett replied, his mouth full as well. I chuckled to myself. We played a video game with a complex title, and was only mildly interesting for about another hour before we decided to just “chill for a bit.”  
“So, guys, what do you wanna do now?” Nick asked us before picking up his phone a minute later, smiling at the screen, and then quietly exiting the room a second later to “take a call.” He had caught Abbinitous, the most contagious, wide spreading disease at Creek Wood high school. He came back a moment later with the sad news that he had to leave, “other plans,” he said. Garrett and I turned to smirk at each other.  
“Nick, we all know you’re off to sweep a certain Ms. Suso off her feet,” I said grinning.  
“Sorry, guys, hate to ditch you!”  
“Its fine, go have your fun Eisner, we won’t miss you too much,” Garrett chuckled. Nick grabbed his coat and dashed out, waving goodbye on the way out. It was just Garrett and me once again, much like I’d expected it would be.  
We weren’t the kind of friends to exchange heartfelt conversations over drinks while contemplating the ways of life, but sometimes that just happens when you’re with someone long enough. After another game, we turned off the t.v. and I went to get some water. He followed and we ended up sitting at the kitchen table. “So, I guess I haven’t brought it up yet, so I thought I should,” he began, “but how are things with Simon? They seem pretty good and I just wanted to be sure.” I smiled down at the table. Yeah, sometimes Garrett could surprise you by being truly genuine out of nowhere.  
“I mean, uh, things are pretty amazing, man.” He nodded.  
“Good, you deserve nothing less.” He was quiet for a second and then, “Spier’s a good guy and I’m happy for you. Just wanted to make that abundantly clear. And the gay thing, well, I respect you just the same, and it makes no difference to me that you’d rather smash Renaldo than Mia Hamm.” He said the last bit with much enthusiasm!  
“Thanks, I guess,” I laughed. “But, yeah, I already knew you were okay with everything. Thank you for being so supportive and thank you for being so cool about everything earlier in the year when I came out to you. I was not in a perfect place back then, and I had spent so much time hoping your reaction wouldn’t be bad to my coming out. You being so supportive was a big relief and it reminded me how much I could rely on our friendship! You really helped me through that time and now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been! I’m so happy I’m with Simon and I’m so glad I know you! You’re a good friend, Garrett.”  
“No, Greenfeld, I’m the best.” I smiled and shook my head, laughing to myself. Ah, Garrett, you deserve appreciation, you wonderful, blustering, soccer playing dork!


	12. Bram vs. Simon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I..” I could barely make out words through the tears. “Simon, and.. Well, we had a fight and I just.. I love him so much, I don’t wanna lose him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write because I don't wanna think about my favorite couple arguing, but I think it was an important one to write. Even the strongest couples, even Barack and Michelle, even Simon and Bram have fights, its a part of being in a relationship. DON'T worry though, it does get cute at the end of the chapter!

Bram vs. Simon  
(first fight)

My phone was buzzing aggressively in my pocket. I reached down and glanced at it. It was Simon. “Hey, you,” I answered, picking it up.   
“Hi,” he said. “Whatcha doing?”   
“Just some homework. What about you?”   
“Oh,” he chuckled. “Exactly the opposite, I’m avoiding my homework.”   
“You should do that, don’t you want to graduate?”   
“Well, yeah. I wouldn’t redo Junior year if they paid me!” As much as I wanted to continue talking to Simon, I knew I was just distracting him from what should be his priority.   
“Simon, homework should be your priority, you can call me back when you’re done.”   
“What, no. I’m not letting my beautiful boyfriend hang up on me so I can read and take notes.” I chuckled, but I was being serious.  
It worried me that Simon wasn’t taking school seriously. At the same time, I knew he was only avoiding his work because he wanted to talk to me, but I definitely didn’t want to become the reason for him getting bad grades. Or much worse, not graduating. I doubted he’d fail any classes, he was an advanced placement student. He was also a procrastinator.   
“Si, I’m serious. You should finish that work for English, we can always talk later.”   
“Ugh, Bram, you’re sounding like my parents. Stop nagging me!” I felt a tug in my chest. My eyes tightened and I felt the slightest bit angry. I didn’t have the right to be agitated, Simon was just messing around, but still, something about how he phrased it made me slightly upset, not that he’d know why.   
“I’m not “nagging” you, Si. I’m just looking out for you.”   
“Well, whatever. Can we just chat for a bit?”   
“I’m doing homework.”   
“Okay, fine. You don’t have to be so smart all the time, you know?”   
All throughout my life I had always been told to focus on my studies. I didn’t try to be the kid who told you to do your work; I didn’t like to be the teacher’s pet or anything. I just worried about Simon.  
It's hard to describe, but there’s this turning point inside you when you’re in a relationship, and suddenly you feel your own fears for them, and you cry your own tears for them; you live through things for them. It was hard to explain to myself, but I did fear things for Simon, particularly him failing school because of me. Maybe it was because grades were something of importance to me and I myself feared failing, or maybe not.   
Whatever the reason, Simon telling me to stop telling him to do his work triggered something inside me. It was like he was telling me to stop caring when, that was all I ever did. I always cared about Simon.   
“Simon, I’m hanging up.” I meant to say this playfully. At least I think I meant to. Either way, it didn’t come out playfull. It came out pissed.   
“Fine then,” he snapped back. And then his voice went soft, almost sad; dejected. “Bye.” I hung up the phone and threw it across the room on my bed. I clenched my fists in anger. Slowy, I uncletched them, letting my fury fade into sadness and confusion. I felt like crying and under everything, I felt guilty.   
Why did I choose to lash out at Simon? He was just being playful. I didn’t know the answers to the questions I continued to ask myself, I just broke down sobbing.   
The tears began to burn and my mind filled with horrible thoughts. Thoughts I never wanted to think. I thought, what if he thinks I want to break up with him? What if he wants to break up with me? What if he doesn’t love me as much as I love him, which is more than anything? My head swarmed with these bleak thoughts. I closed my eyes shut tightly, blocking the rest of my tears from spilling out. I took a deep breath, and then another. I used everything I had in me block the doubt. The doubt about whether we would come through; that we would make it.   
My eyes fluttered open. I glanced at the clock on my bedside. 5:43 pm it read. I only now realized I had fallen asleep, not just closed my eyes for a second. I had been asleep for almost an hour. My eyes were hard to open and my cheeks felt sticky. I had been crying, it all came back to me now. I sat up and frantically searched for my phone. I inhaled before clicking it on, anticipating a bunch of missed calls or texts from Simon, hopefully forgiving me, or maybe even apologizing. Nothing. My heart sank and I got an almost quesy, disappointed feeling in my gut.   
I was cried out, tired, and a little hungry, so I trudged down the stairs to get something to snack on. My mom glanced up from her laptop when I passed through the living room. “You ok, Bram, honey? You look kinda flustered.” I turned around.   
“Yeah, I’m okay. I just woke up.”   
“Oh, okay. That explains the look.” I went into the kitchen and searched the cupboards for something to eat, nothing seemed appetizing. I had that same gut feeling that you have when you’re sick and try to eat anything. I knew nothing would make me feel better, my heart was sick. I dug through the snack drawer till something caught my eye. I saw a half eaten pack of Oreos. I grabbed it and went back into the living room to eat them on the couch.   
“Hi,” my mom said as I sat down a few feet away from her. I grabbed an Oreo and twisted it apart before eating one of the halfs. It was sweet, and wonderfully delightful, and it reminded me of Simon. It reminded me of our first date. Images of him dashing through the rain, groceries in hand beside me, ran through my mind. I suddenly felt that familiar drop of my stomach that I felt when I’d closed the car doors around us, trapping in the sounds of our own breath. I could hear the blanket of rain in the back of my mind if I closed my eyes.   
I ate another Oreo and I thought of how he’d called me Abraham. I could still think back and hear the slight hitch of his voice when he’d said it, almost as if he was trying it out. I remembered him leaning in closer to me, our breathing slowed and the patter of the rain on the window slowly faded into white noise when time slowed and we shared our first kiss. I remembered the bliss of holding his hand while we enjoyed our Oreo mush.  
I looked down at the package of Oreos on my lap. I remembered how he’d surprised me on our ten-day-anniversary with a pack just like this one. A single tear rolled down my cheek and landed on the package. I covered my face with my hands and broke down sobbing once more. I couldn’t lose Simon.   
My mom set down her laptop and sprung to my side. “Honey, what’s wrong?”   
“I..” I could barely make out words through the tears. “Simon, and.. Well, we had a fight and I just.. I love him so much, I don’t wanna lose him.” She stroked my arm, comforting me.   
“Honey, you’re not going to lose him. All couples get into fights, it's just how it is. When you’re close enough to a person, sometimes you get into disagreements. I think you just need to talk to him, okay?”   
“Okay,” I said through sniffles.   
“Maybe you should call him.”   
“Thanks, mom. I’ll definitely talk to him, but I’m not going to call him.” I jumped up from the couch and ran to grab my coat. I took my keys off the hook and waved to my mom as I left.  
A rainstorm had picked up and rain was coming down, pelleting the earth. I ran through the rain and got into my car. I drove not towards Simon’s house, I had another stop to make first. I drove directly to the Publix. I had some grocery shopping to do.   
About a half hour later, I was pulling into Simon’s driveway. One of the cars was missing, but that probably didn’t matter. I dashed through the rain till I was safely on the stoop. I took a deep breath, mustering the courage, and knocked lightly on the front door. Nora answered it.   
“Oh, hi, Bram.” She sounded startled. It was reasonable since she probably wasn’t expecting to see me.   
“Is Simon here?” I asked quietly.   
“No,” she said, her voice low. “He left.”   
“Do you know where he went?”   
“He didn’t say, he just ran off like twenty minutes ago, something about Oreos.”   
“Oh, classic Simon and his sweet tooth,” I chuckled. I didn’t feel like laughing, but I found myself anyways.   
“Haha, yeah,” she replied. She didn’t seem too happy when she said this.   
“Well, I guess I’ll just come back later.” I sighed and walked back to my car. I felt broken inside. I didn’t even know where to find Simon. I drove back to my house.   
When I pulled into my driveway, I got an idea. Sure, plan A didn’t go too well, but I could still call him. I clicked on his icon and held my breath, waiting for him to pick up. He did after a few rings. “Bram, where are you?” I stepped out of my car, still with him on the phone.   
“I’m at my house,” I said, confused as to why he was asking.   
“No you’re not,” he said in a confused tone.   
“Umm, yeah I am. Where are you?” That was when I noticed Simon’s car in our driveway. “Wait, are you here?”   
“If you mean at your house, then yes I am, but I don’t see you.” I stepped into my house. I hung up the phone.   
“Simon, I’m so sorry.” I ran into the living room, pulling him into a hug. I was soaked, but he didn’t seem to car.   
“Are you kidding, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been distracting you so much and I had no right to speak to you like you like that. I shouldn’t have said you were nagging me or that you were too smart. I love how amazingly smart you are, and I think sometimes I get jealous. Or maybe I just miss hearing your voice.” I cut him off.   
“Well, I’m sorry for nagging you. That’s what I was doing. It’s just that I care so much about you, Si, and sometimes I worry about you not passing your classes and other dumb stuff like that. I guess I tend to reflect my own fears about grades on you. I immediately regretted snapping at you, I love you. Here.” I handed him the bag that was in my hand.   
“I love you too, Bram. More than you can probably imagine!” He reached into the bag, pulling out the two cups of miniature Oreos, and a pack of plastic spoons.   
“There’s milk in the fridge,” I said. He smiled and hugged me again.   
A few minutes later, we were sitting at the dining room table blissfully eating our Oreo mush. I reached out and took his free hand in mine, squeezing it gently. “Love you,” I said.   
“Love you too,” he replied. He leaned over the corner of the table and kissed me softly. I smiled into his lips. I was so, so happy.


	13. Bram vs. June 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pulling into the parking lot of the hospital was the most thrilling and scary thing I had ever experienced. For all I knew, my sister was being born right at this second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's adorable, but for different reasons!!! Welcome to the world little baby Valerie! :)

Bram vs. June 14

“Bram, hurry up and grab your coat,” my mom yelled across the living room.  
“I’ll only be a second. I’ll meet you in the car.”   
“Okay,” my mom said closing the front door behind her. I took a deep breath and slowly put my jacket on. This time tomorrow I would no longer be an only child.   
The whole car ride to the hospital, I was nervously tapping my hands on my thighs. The whole thing was so exciting and yet so scary. A lot was about to change in my life and, specifically, in my father’s life. To top it all off, traffic was really bad and I was scared we were going to miss everything.   
At about 7:00 am this morning, my mother received a call from my father. My stepmother’s water had broke and she was going into labor. The rest of the morning had been my mom and me rushing around the house. Now, it would be about an hour or two of fighting traffic till we’d be at the hospital.   
“How do you feel about everything?” My mom asked me. I was still nervously tapping my fingers.   
“Good, it's just a really big thing, you know. I mean, a lot’s about to change and change is always scary! But above it all, I’m just really excited to meet my baby sister!” I had a single tear in my eye.   
“She’s going to love her big brother Abraham.” Now my mom was tearing up a bit too, but not enough to keep her from yelling at the bad driver in front of us. We were mostly quiet for the rest of the drive.   
Pulling into the parking lot of the hospital was the most thrilling and scary thing I had ever experienced. For all I knew, my sister was being born right at this second.   
My mom talked with a nurse for a few minutes before she led us up to the room my stepmother supposedly was in. My mom paused at the door, “Why don’t you just go in first, Bram. Go say hi to your father.” I nodded and cracked open the door, waving quietly at my family inside.   
“Bram! You’re here.” My dad jumped up from his chair and came over to greet me.   
“Hey, Bram.” My stepmother waved to me from the bed.   
“Hi,” I said.   
“Your stepmother is 6 centimeters dilated, can you believe it? I can’t! I mean this is really happening, we’re having a baby. I’m gonna have a daughter!” He was frantic and tearing up, a smile across his face.  
“Yeah, dad, you are.” I hugged him, tears now in both of our eyes.   
“And you’re gonna have a sister!”   
“Yeah, I am,” I replied. And then quietly to myself, I repeated it, realizing the reality of everything. “I’m gonna have a sister.” I smiled over to my stepmother. “How are you doing, Regina?”   
“I’m ok. Contractions aren’t the best things, but it's so incredible that I’m gonna have a child, that I think I can get through it!” She smiled up at my dad and he rubbed her arm. She suddenly tensed and cried out in pain. Her breathing quickened and my dad gripped her hand through it. It was painful to watch.  
“Contractions,” he just said. I nodded.  
“I’m gonna go and get my mom.”   
“Yeah, have her come in and say hi,” he said.   
“Ok.” I left the room. 

Four hours later, I stood, tears spilling down my cheeks. I was overcome by a feeling of pure happiness for I was holding my baby sister for the first time. “I love her already,” I said laughing through the tears. A smile swept across my face when her little arm twitched and her eyes curled up in an almost smirk. She was so tiny, adorable, and precious and I loved her with all my heart. My little baby sister Valerie. It was the most surreal thing ever.

My mom and I stayed at my dad’s house in Savannah that night, but we drove back home the next day. Not before visiting everyone at the hospital first, of course. When I got home, I immediately called Simon. He picked up after only two rings. “Hey, I got your text the other day, was she born?” He said answering the phone.   
“Yeah, she was. I’m a big brother Simon.” My voice was light and reflected everything I was feeling in the moment, which was a lot of different types of happiness.   
“It’s great, isn’t it? I still remember when Nora was born, even though I was only like three.” He laughed a little. “Congratulations, Bram. and Congrats to your dad and his wife. I’m so happy for you all. What was it like holding her for the first time?”   
“It was incredible. I just love her so much!”   
“That’s amazing.”   
“Well, I just wanted to call you. I’m still pretty tired from being at the hospital all night yesterday, so I’m gonna get some sleep.”   
“Bye, babe. Sleep tight. I love you.”   
“I love you too.” I clicked off my phone and smiled at it in my hand.  
I drifted off to sleep thinking about how everything was changing, and somehow I was okay with it.


	14. Bram vs. 6 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I opened my eyes and was immediately blinded by the bright light streaming into my window. I practically leaped up from the bed. Today was a very important day. Not only had summer break finally come, but today was me and Simon’s 6-month-anniversary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's definitely some smut in this chapter, but nothing too bad. I thought it was time for just a little bit more to happen between them. Anyways, tell me what you think (Or don't). Sorry if there's typos, grammar errors, or just bad writing, but I hope you enjoy it anyways.  
> Also, this chapter's kinda long, but please read it anyways :)

Bram vs. 6 months

I opened my eyes and was immediately blinded by the bright light streaming into my window. I practically leaped up from the bed. Today was a very important day. Not only had summer break finally come, but today was me and Simon’s 6-month-anniversary.  
I skipped down the stairs twenty minutes later and called goodbye to my mom on the way out the door. “Bram, aren’t you going to eat breakfast this morning?” She called after me.  
“No time. I have to surprise Simon.”  
“You still need to eat!”  
“I can’t risk having him beat me again. He already surprised me on our 10-day and one month anniversary!”  
“10-day? That’s a stretch,” she retorted. “Well, eat something later at least.”  
“Com’on mom, I’m meeting up with Simon, how could food NOT be involved.” She laughed me off and I left the house. I hopped in my car and turned on some upbeat music. I was off.  
I stopped at the Publix and picked up some necessary supplies before driving to Simon’s. I pulled into his driveway and skipped up to the porch, knocking on the door. His mom answered and greeted me with a warm smile. “Hey, Bram. It’s nice to see you.”  
“Hi, Emily,” I waved inside to Jack who was sitting on the couch sipping his coffee, “Hi Jack.”  
“Hey, Bram.” He said looking up.  
“Is Simon here?” Just as I asked it, Simon came skipping down the stairs.  
“Hey, mom I got get to Bram’s to…” He looked up and saw me. I waved quietly.  
“Hi,” I said.  
“Bram!!” He greeted me with a hug. “Happy 6-months!”  
“Yeah, go us!” I handed him the flowers I had picked out for him. They were blue. He smiled wider than the moon and kissed me. “So, I have the day planned for us..” I continued but stopped myself to smile again.  
“You didn’t have to do that!”  
“Yeah, I did. Well, I wanted to. You’re worth it.” He blushed. I beamed. “And anyway, you planned our last anniversary.”  
“Yeah, that is true,” he teased. “Do you mind if I eat before we go?”  
“Oh, don’t worry, we’ll be getting food!”  
“You know me so well.” He laughed. “Are we going to Waffle House?”  
“Nope, today’s special!”  
I took Simon out to breakfast at an adorable, little cafe in Atlanta. He still ordered waffles even though we weren’t at WaHo (for once).  
After we ate, we walked to the car. “Thanks for breakfast, and thanks for surprising me with such a lovely morning. I’m so happy we’ve made it this far. I love you,” he said taking my hand on the way out.  
“You’re welcome and I love you too, Simon, but our day isn’t over. I have some other ideas.”  
“Really? What’s our next stop?”  
“You’ll have to wait and see.”  
“Ooh, mysterious Bram.” He squeezed my hand and stopped me in the middle of the parking lot to pull me into a soft, sweet kiss.  
For the next few hours, Simon and I spent the afternoon walking around Atlanta, looking in small shops, and sneaking small kisses. We even went into a toy store just to look around and reminisce about our childhoods. Simon bought me a superhero cape. “You don’t have to buy that for me, Simon.”  
“Oh, but I want to. You’re my superhero. My blue.” I blushed at the checkout counter.  
“Fine, if you insist.” I rolled my eyes as he handed it over to the store clerk and paid.  
It was only around 4:00, but I was getting tired. Simon offered that we catch a movie, but I had other ideas. “You know, my mom is going to be working late tonight…” I began. His lips curled up in a smirk.  
“And..?”  
“Well, just that if you wanted to come over I bet we could find something to do.” I shot him a small, mischievous smile. His eyebrows raised and he chuckled.  
“I like that idea! let's do that.” We got back in my car and began driving to the house.  
When we were safely on the road, Simon met my hand on the council, smiling up at me.  
“So, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about,” Simon began.  
“Oh, and what’s that?” I was curious and only the slightest bit nervous.  
“It's just that under the circumstances, there’s a possibility for certain things to happen tonight. Maybe some things that haven’t happened before…” I could see where he was going with this.  
“Simon, if you’re worried about what I think you are, and I can only assume, I want you to know that I’m not going to pressure you into anything. If you’re not ready then we’ll wait. I don’t want you to think that we have to do certain things just because of how long we’ve been together and so people expect us to. That’s all between us to decide!”  
“I’m not worried, and I know you would never pressure me. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m not opposed to taking things maybe a step further, you know, physically. But if you’re not wanting that, then we’ll wait. I also don’t think we need to make any decisions right now.”  
“Simon, I’ve been ready for a little while now, but I didn’t know how to bring it up,” I glanced away from the road for a mere second to smile up at him. “You know I’m not the most outspoken one in the relationship.” He laughed slightly under his breath. “And I do have, um, supplies too..” My voice trailed off and in the corner of my eye, I could see Simon raise an eyebrow and bite his lip.  
“Oh, that’s good. Um, we should definitely talk more about this.” He said.  
“Yes, maybe once we’re inside,” I said gesturing to the driveway as I turned into it.  
“Yeah.” He bit his lip again.  
Once inside, we hurried upstairs to my room and I turned on some quiet music. Simon was already laying on my bed so I flopped down next to him, placing a kiss on his forehead. We both lay on our sides facing one another. I reached out and grabbed his hand and played with his fingers. “Hey, Si, do you ever think about that time we were here and you helped me “‘study?”’ I put emphasis on “study” and raised an eyebrow.  
“Yeah, I do.” He got a distant look in his eye and squinted remembering something. If I was right, we were thinking about the same thing. I bit my lip. Was it hot in here? He snapped out of his trance and turned back to face me. His deep, moon gray eyes were only inches away. I got lost in them immediately and began losing my grip on the world; falling into a trance of admiring my boyfriend. He was just so beautiful. His nose was slightly pink from the sun. I reached out and poked it. I stroked his cheek and leaned in to kiss him. I pulled away and he blushed ever so slightly. He was so adorable and also so hot. I reached out and gently lifted his glasses off his face, placing them on the nightstand. I gazed once more into his eyes. I bit my lip; I wanted him. I kissed him again, this time more passionately. I slowly eased open his mouth and slipped in my tongue. He sighed allowing me to take control.  
I flipped myself over so I was on top of him. He moaned at the contact of our hips. I kissed him harder, running my hands into his soft, messy hair. My mouth left his lips to travel down his neck all the way to the collar of his shirt. I stopped myself and helped him lift it off. His skin was pale and beautiful. I ran my hands across the soft area of his stomach and gently bit his shoulder. He sighed again, and I’d be damned if that wasn’t my favorite sound. Actually, scratch that, his moans were. They came out broken and at random times like he was holding back all the others. He slowly sat up, continuing to kiss me. We sat on the bed, me straddling his lap. He lifted off my shirt and went in placing kisses down my neck and on my collar bone. He sucked kisses on my chest causing me to tilt my head back in pleasure. He lay me back on the bed and moved his hips over top mine and I felt his hard member pressed against mine.  
“Si,” it came out breathless. “You’re gonna make me..” I moaned louder than anticipated. He paused.  
“Oh, right,” he replied stupidly. “Do you want to stop?” I thought about my answer, but I already knew what it was.  
“No,” I said quietly.  
“Me neither.” He scratched the back on his neck nervously. “Um, can I..” He reached toward the waistband of my shorts and tugged gently on them, but not hard enough to actually pull them down. I nodded. He pulled down my shorts and I kicked them off. He took off his as well and we sat there for a second in our boxers before he kissed me again; slowly. He pulled away with caution and I exhaled, feeling relaxed, but also crazed in a whole new way.  
Simon and I had explored some stuff physically, but we’d never gone all the way. I wanted to though. I was ready.  
He brought his lips to mine, wrapping me up in a kiss. I exhaled deeply in prolonged satisfaction and when I breathed back in, I breathed him with me and I could feel his tongue slip underneath mine. I suppressed a quiet moan as he took me by my hips. His fingers softly trailed my thigh and came back up it on the underside until he reached my hips again. He kissed me harder, and with a rush of passion, I ran my hand from his cheek up into his tousled hair where I gripped him ecstatically. My other hand trailed his soft chest. I could feel his skin getting hot in excitement.  
His hand now left the boundaries of what was my leg and traveled into the next realm of my body. His pointer finger brushed the waistband of my briefs and I released a sigh of pleasure into his waiting lips. My grip tightened on his hair and I took him underneath me pressing a soft kiss on his tender lips before traveling to his neck where I let my tongue gently brush his skin.  
He moaned in desperation as I smiled, pressing my mouth to his collarbone. He repaid me by laying me down and slipping his hand slightly further up into my boxers. “Oh, yes” I managed to let out as his hand tightened slightly on my base. He let go of me with both hands and then wrapped his body around me never letting his lips leave mine and with a slight movement of his hips. I felt the sensation that I needed to somehow be closer to him. I felt his hard member pressed deep against mine begging me with him.  
“Bram, are you sure?” He asked me.  
“Yes,” I breathed. “Please.” I was painfully turned on; he was all I wanted.  
He wasted no time. His lips pressed against my chest and he slipped his hands down the length of my body. He moved his face up and placed a kiss below my jawline and I whimpered in pleasure. His lips traveled down to my stomach where with each kiss it lurched with a deep, but soft ache. I was ready for what came next. My breathing was getting heavier now. He teased me, pressing down on my waistline. A moan escaped my throat despite my efforts to contain my cries of pleasure. This was new for me. This was new for him. But we were ready.  
He slowly slipped off my boxers, exposing all of me to him. He gasped a little and I felt slightly self-conscious. But he turned his head up to me smiling and I felt safe.  
I could feel him now. All of him. I couldn't contain my cries. My breaths became moans and everything in between was me holding it in. He took me in his mouth again and again and again. “I'm so close, Si.” I breathed heavily as he went down further “don’t stop.” In seconds I was there. My whole body trembled and I was consumed by the most wonderful sensation. He lifted his head up and smiled at me. I was still in some shock; barely able to move. He held eye contact a moment longer and licked his lips swallowing. It was incredibly hot. I bit my lip back. "Bram, you were so hot. I loved being able to do that for you." He seemed extremely worked up from the experience. He was breathing heavily and rutting against my leg, needing desperately to get some relief. "Now it's your turn, Si."

An hour later, we were cuddled up on the couch downstairs watching a movie when my mom came home. “Oh, hi Simon,” she said. “It’s nice to see you. Congratulations you guys on the big day.” Simon and I smiled at each other, not moving from our position.  
“Oh, mom, is it ok if Simon stays the night?”  
“That should be fine, but check with his family.”  
“I’ll text them,” Simon said reaching for his phone on the table. “They should be fine with it.”  
He got a text a minute later, “They said it’s fine as long as I have a ride home tomorrow morning,” Simon said from his phone.  
“Of course I’ll give you one,” I beamed.  
“Then it’s settled.” He leaned up placing a kiss on my cheek. His hair was still rather messy from earlier, but I didn’t make a deal of it. Simon always looked like he had sex hair anyways. It was one of the things I loved about him.  
After the movie, we dashed up the stairs to my room and curled up in bed. I wrapped my arms around him, lying my head between his chin and his shoulder. “Goodnight,” I whispered.  
“Night,” he replied softly. “Happy 6-months.”  
“I love you Simon, more than anything. You know that, right?”  
“Yes, Bram, I do know that, which makes me love you even more, and that shouldn’t be possible considering how much I did already.”  
I was at a loss for words. My adorable, rambling boyfriend was just too cute to handle. I squeezed his hand. Even though “goodnights” had been shared, we didn’t fall asleep for a long while. We just stayed up talking about various things, wrapped up in each other’s arms. Whether I slept well or not, it was still a “good night” because what better thing is there than to stay up all night talking to the boy you love only to drift off to sleep in his arms.


End file.
